In one of those amazing “management” decisions that makes you really question who is captaining your ship, my current client has implemented a cost cutting measure that requires all consultants to take the last two weeks of the year off. While this is a little rough for the independent consultants, who basically don?t eat if they?re not billing, I have the protection of a corporate flag flying overhead, so I was given a gift of two free weeks off! Without questioning the assumption that consultants are generally hired to help your company, telling those helpers that perhaps their cost is not worthwhile is somewhat akin to telling the doctor that you?d rather save the money on that triple bypass operation.

Despite my frequent chiding of Meghan for the occasional Jewish holidays the NYC school board bestows, she is working until Thursday, and I am the one who has temporarily dropped from the ranks of contributing members of society! It has been nice not to be rushing around doing laundry and packing up on Sunday evening, and Monday morning was a whole new world (queue the music from Disney?s Aladdin) without my alarm clock jolting me out of bed at 4AM.

My only problem with these free weeks from heaven is that I suffer from over plan-itis. As soon as I found out I had the time off, I began concocting schemes on how to spend it. Everything from winter motorcycle rides, repainting the apartment, to building a paper clock (that I?ve been working on for three years), to finding the cure for cancer and the common cold were on the agenda. Anytime I have some extra time on my hands, I?ll add to my agenda with enthuesastic abandon. ?Build Rome?? Sure, I?ve got the time! It wasn?t built in a day, but I?ve got 5!!!?

When my eyelids slowly cracked open on Monday, sans the grating monotone of the Sony Taskmaster, err alarm clock, my brain was a clean slate, elaborate plans and schemes buried somewhere behind the decision to start the day with plain, or blueberry waffles. I spent Monday and today with about four neutrons firing throughout the entirety of my brain. A leisurely breakfast, a little web browsing and suddenly day two of my unplanned vacation is over.

Tomorrow promises to be a new and exciting day however. I?ll soon be following in Meghan?s footsteps to dreamland, and am even planning on setting the alarm to get an early start. Now, if only I could remember where I put my chemistry books from college, that cancer cure must be right around the corner!

Categories: Work
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10. Because I LOVE getting my exercise by chasing David, Akino and Reuben around the library and the entire third floor.

9. Because if I weren?t there, who would tell the other teachers that don?t speak Spanish that the words puta, chupalo, chocha, and huevo are not the innocent pet names that the kids say they are.

8. Because without me Brianna wouldn?t have anyone to call a b**ch!

7. Because I love the exciting new adventures that each day brings: drinking in school, cutting up books, cutting class, spitballs, fights, and actual learning?

6. Because if I weren?t there, who would be there to take two horrific coverages when 50% of the teaching staff is simultaneously ?out sick? on a Monday?

5. Because who else would actually teach a schedule of 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, French, and bilingual classes?

4. Because some of my students think that ?Chingy? is the vice president; North and South California are states and that Bill Clinton freed the slaves.

3. Because I love the feeling I get when I look around the room and I see every student interested and engaged in the task at hand.

2. Because I really do love expanding the horizons of my little darlings and teaching them a thing or two about the world we live in.

1. Because I wouldn?t get to hear Francis say, ?Miss that was a really great lesson?one I?ll remember for the rest of my life!?

Categories: Work, General
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This past Friday, my 8th grade students had the pleasure of meeting a ?friend? of mine: Mr. Patrick Gray! He did a short presentation about using business plans in the real world, as they are working on their own business plans as part of the unit we are currently working on. I think that the students were excited to see a new face, hear a new voice, and learn a thing or two from someone who has more experience in this area than any of the teachers do.

Since I didn?t exactly tell the kids who Pat actually was, it was pretty funny when one girl made a few joking comments to me. ?Miss,? she said, ?I?m going to tell your fianc?e that you got all dressed up for the business man and that you are going to run away with him!? Little did they know? I think that eventually I?ll tell them that my fianc?e and the business man are the same person.

It was great to have a chance to show Pat all the people and parts of the school that I talk about so much. Most of all, I think he got a chance to ?see me in action? and appreciate my alternate persona: Ms. Estrada. Maybe someday I?ll enjoy a little SAP along side my darling fianc?e!

Categories: Work
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Attention New Year’s Fans:

It’s the third official New Years bash with your favorite friends! After
extensive research, several options have come and gone. We’ve investigated
Orlando and Vegas, and went as far a field as Iceland and San Juan, but all
ended up at a total cost of over $1000.

After conducting multiple exit polls and extensive demographic analyses, the
following potential locations have been selected for this year’s New Year’s
bash. Please respond with your vote and I’ll return the results of the
Electoral College as soon as soon as all votes are tallied.

THIS YEAR’S CANDIDATES:

Quebec, QC., Canada (Dem)

Rife with discontent over the recent presidential elections, this year’s
Democratic candidate has fled to Canada, to rustic and charming Quebec City.
The rather long drive, which will necessitate much “Blood for Oil” will be
broken up with an overnight stop at the famous “La Marquis” hotel, renowned
for its 40oz Labatt Bleue’s and “liberal” staff. We’ll then proceed to more
comfortable lodging in Quebec City, and enjoy the charms of the city while
escaping the evil of the “red states.”

Mohegan Sun, CT. (Rep)

After a clear voter mandate, the religious right has presented a candidate
based on good old fashioned family values: gambling, drinking and over
indulgence. Advancing cost cutting measures, the Republicans have located
lodging within 5 minute shuttle service of the casino. The Republicans have
warned that this could be the most expensive, or the least expensive of the
three options, depending on whether their candidate can “reach across the
felt” and convince craps, blackjack and roulette “special interest groups”
to fund their programs.

North Conway, NH (Ind)

Despite poor results in polls, the Green Party has decided to move a bit
right of the Green [mountain] State, to New Hampshire. Returning to their
core values that allowed them to host New Year’s 2004, the Independents will
once again advance North Conway as a viable “alternative” option. Pointing
to the low costs entailed with smaller government, and the host of
environmentally-friendly activities available, the Greens think they have a
winner.

Please cast your votes ASAP, as absentee ballots may not be counted!

Best Regards,

The New Years Election Commission

Categories: Travel
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